La Cieca has the first top-secret highly classified eyes-only report from inside the hermetically sealed Attila dress rehearsal at the Met.  Our spy  (possibly pictured above) speaks out —  after the jump, naturally. 

UPDATE, Acts 2 and 3: La Cieca’s spy adds that Carlos Alvarez canceled after the first half, “though he didn’t sound sick.” Costumes “continue runway-worthy, like Hugo Boss on a beaver hunting expedition, superb tailoring.” The staging, though, our spy found “inept and boring.”

FURTHER UPDATE: Photos of a dress rehearsal of Attila (minus those annoying watermarks) are posted by Friend of the Box Nick Scholl over at fashionista.com. [Above photo by Ken Howard, courtesy of the Metropolitan Opera, via fashionista.com.]

Going great so far [Prologue and Act 1]: MUTI AMAZING.

The costumes are runway-ready, all industrial leather and fur and boots and crumpled textures like “downtown chic”. Sometimes looks rather silly: “Like my fur? It’s Prada, baby!”

The Roman soldiers carry shields that look to me like enormous iPods. Coincidence? I think not! (Unsure what connection would be, however!)

The chorus dressed in jeans and rumpled designer t shirts and reminds me of Mark Morris Orfeo just a bit.  Are they a religious cult?

The prologue is staged atop a concrete rubble pile that looks like Hunters Queens. Act one has a lovely lush green terrarium look. There’s certainly nothing really wild or, to be honest, all that interesting going on. the singing is ok but only Ildar Abdrazakov is a standout.

We have no photos yet, so La Cieca is going to assume [accurately! – LC] the opera looks sort of like this:

More after part two.