La Cieca is of course delighted to learn that dear John Waters intends to have Pink Flamingos adapted into an opera — though, sadly, he might as well forget about having the work premiered in his home town.

La Cieca can’t imagine which currently active composer might be up for the daunting task of setting to music the text “Now, Mama, that’s just egg paranoia. I think you’re being very silly. There will always be chickens. Why, there are so many chickens now that we can eat some and let some of them live in order to supply us with eggs. Chickens are plentiful, Mama. The world will never be without chickens. You can be sure of that.” 

But she (La Cieca, that is, not Babs Johnson) is ready to entertain discussion on how the opera should be cast. And she’ll warn you right now you get zero points for the obvious suggestion of Lauren Flanigan for Connie Marble.

UPDATE: An old favorite, but still the front-runner, so far as La Cieca is concerned.