Here’s some news you can use—if you can peek into the future and guess which tenor is jumping into a starring role at the Met this fall.

Which superstar tenor is about to record a complete opera that surely sell lots of copies, causing his fans to rejoice?

Which superstar performer, despite recent success in this hemisphere, has thus far hesitated to sign a contract for more performances next season?

Sources in whose reliability La Cieca has an almost holy faith suggest turning one’s perfect vision westwards.

Which superstar performer whose recent career has been as calm as a dove is about to send ticket sales crashing by making perhaps the most fateful cancellation of his life?

Which opera house’s notoriously conservative backers would be shocked to hear the company is currently holding auditions for performers to perform simulated acts of bestiality?

Which operatic heartthrob—who’s loved everywhere on earth, in fact—plans to make a surprise return to the Met to sing in next weekend’s 50th anniversary gala?

Which octogenarian fixture of the operatic world is preparing to make a farewell of sorts, perhaps as soon as late summer of this year?

Which two divine opera productions will make New York fans feel like they’ve got the sun in the morning and the moon at night when these stagings arrive here in the 2018-2019 season?

Which legendary operatic lady of New York, now in the twilight of her career, is currently studying a dusty old bel canto score in preparation for yet another comeback?

Which soprano/tenor team won’t have to hunt very hard for a triumph on December 31. 2016, when the Met reunites them for a new production of Roméo et Juliette?

Though La Cieca hates to put the brakes on anyone’s excitement, the cher public should be aware that a beloved veteran diva is going to be a no-show at the Met Guild luncheon on Friday.

Which usually calm superstar’s running, jumping or standing (not to mention conducting) will have to be put on hold for at least two weeks while he goes under the knife at a Manhattan hospital?

Which erstwhile impresario, who surely heaved a sigh when he no longer was welcome at his previous theater, is about to sign on at the Met in a Director of Productions-type position?

Which American opera diva’s next starring project will be an appearance as Florence Foster Jenkins in a film about that earlier American diva’s life and times?

Why would it be crazy for you to believe that recent rumor? Is it because the gentleman in question is already enjoying a happy preview of his next romantic relationship?

Which Met superstar—who’s no stranger to blind items this season—is the first to accede to the Met’s suggestion of a fee reduction of 7% for principal artists in upcoming seasons?

Which rat-faced former elected official—who has been coasting (and profiting) off the one good week he had 14 years ago ever since then—is now about to stick his notoriously art-hating snout into Monday night’s anti-Klinghoffer demonstrations?

Which highly respected opera professional has been making a lot of childish scenes lately (even devising a fake identity on parterre.com!) in order to sow discord between two ex-clients?