Condescending to opera lovers across America — and cheating both Bartlett Sher and Squirrel out of the simple joys of partial nudity — the Met has decided to censor the December 19th High Def broadcast of Les Contes d’Hoffmann!

It should be noted that the poitrines in question are already censored — with tasteful little pasties, yet — and so it’s not even whole boobs we’re talking about.

Apparently concerned that this production might be too stimulating to some viewers in the development of their appreciation of the art form, the House of Gelb will, presumably, pan away from the chestical areas of the supernumeraries and dancers in Acts One and Act Three, training cameras instead on— what?— Joseph Calleja‘s drooling, stupefied stare?