Soprano Yali-Marie Williams is currently singing Traviata at the Opéra de Montréal. Now, La Cieca realizes that not every Violetta can literally look like she’s wasting away, but surely even a more Junoesque soprano can look handsome and chic if she’s costumed intelligently.

This is not what La Cieca calls intelligent costuming.

In fact, La Cieca would go so far as to call this dress a deliberate act of sabotage. Honestly, this gown looks like something Zinka Milanov would design for Renata Tebaldi. (The difference is that Tebaldi would have the sense and the clout to refuse to wear such a monstrosity.)

I mean, look, Joan Sutherland was no size 6 either, but a well-cut and well-fitted bodice really does make all the difference:

It is possible, you see, to wear even a heavy brocade without looking like you forgot to remove it from its sofa of origin.

La Cieca begins to believe that the alarming specter of “No Gay Friends” has not only reared its ugly head but didn’t even bother throw a few hotrollers in its hair before going out in public. The situation in Montréal is dire, cher public, dire.