Patronizing went the strings of my heart

Meet the charming and personable “Jane G.,” erstwhile patroness of the the Met, who, after hearing an “Outstanding… Spectacular” performance of Roberto Devereux there, decided to gather up her ermine wrap and quit her loge in disgust. Why? Well, the season brochure is too complicated, for one thing, and they scanned her patron card before admitting her to the private lounge, and would you believe there were no free sandwiches waiting for her there? “Jane” (not pictured) now intends to target her philanthropy—which, she will have you know, amounts to literally thousands of dollars per annum—to some other organization more prepared to bow and scrape to her whims.