La Cieca was franky overwhelmed by both the volume and the quality of the “Season Brochure” contest entries, so she’s decided to ask you, her cher public, to help decide the winner. In this and four other posts, she will present five finalists. Later today, she will post a ballot so you, the cher public, may vote on your #1 favorite.

Winpal writes:

The 2008 season for Montego Bay Grand Opera promises an eclectic mix of fratboy and Rastafarian works, as well as a gala kegger featuring the totally awesome personality Paris Hilton as special barmaid.

The reggae classic, Donizetti’s La Bimba di Cancun boasts a new production directed by La Cieca, with costumes by Maury D’Annato. This beachfront staging updates the action to Coney Island in the early part of the 19th century. Soprano Angela Gheorghiu stars as Lindsay, a virginal nymphomaniac who for most of the opera is disguised as a mysterious sand dab. Angela Gheorghiu is perhaps best known from TV’s Survivor Chicago where she sang the lilting melody “Stand By Your Man.”

The neglected masterpiece Der Lederkoniginhausfrau will be revived for only 14 performances. You probably already know the famous “Dykes’ Chorus” which was used on the soundtrack of the Academy Award winning film The Nun’s Story. Due to the length of this work, all performances will begin at sunrise.

Finally, the company will present the Jamaica premiere of the opera The Life and Times of Britney Spears in a co-production with Amato Opera and La Scala. The libretto is by Lynne Cheney, based on the play Vampire Lesbians of Sodom, and the music is adapted from the works of Andrew Lloyd Webber by maestro Valery Gergiev. Exciting newcomer Rosie O’Donnell makes her operatic debut as the maternal heroine, and the men in her life are portrayed by Donald Trump, Bill O’Reilly and Oprah Winfrey.

Generous support for Montego Bay Grand Opera’s spring break was provided by the Bob Marley Foundation and the National Endowment for the Bong.