BREAKING: Placido Domingo, who, in 20 years of trying, has never yet got either the words or the rhythms right in the role of Siegmund, has been announced to conduct Die Walküre at Bayreuth next season. For this feat, La Cieca nominates him as recipient of the 2018 “James Levine Memorial Will You Please the Fuck Retire Already, You Vainglorious Old Coot” competition.

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