Our Betsy (pictured) orates: “Mah fella Merkins! Rally round the Pashmina Shawl and let your voice be heard. In recognition of the upcoming unbates, you are urged to vote early and vote often for the Chatworthy opera of your choice.”

11:00-2:15 LRT KLASIKA: LA FORZA DEL DESTINO from Paris with Urmana, Alvarez. 3 F.K. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, give me liberty or give me a good lawyer.

12:00-4:00 ESPACE MUSIQUE: DER FLIEGENDE HOLLANDER from Bayreuth. 3 F.K. Even the late substitution of Pieczonka could not rescue this.. One if by land, two if by sea, three if by Memorex.

1:00-4:30 WFMT American Opera Network: XERXES from San Francisco with Graham, Daniels, Oropeso. No data to rate, but rumored to be a 2 F.K. Ya seen one tree, ya seen ’em all.

1:00-4:30 BARTOK RADIO: Erkel’s HUNYADI LASZLO archival from Magyar Radio. 2 F.K. If elected I will work for the immediate repeal of whatever I was for yesterday.

1:00-4:00 BBC 3: Charpentier’s DAVID ET JONATHAS from Aix-en-Provence. No data to rate. These are the times to try men’s holes.
1:00-5:00 CBC TWO: LES CONTES D’HOFFMAN from Canada with Thomas, Wall, Relyea. 3 F.K. I never had sex with that woman. No, no, no, not that one, THAT one.

1:00-4:00 DEUTSCHLANDRADIO KULTUR: LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR from Vienna with Rae, Beczala. 2 F.K. I believe in the total sanctity of the marriage vows.

1:00-5:00 DR P2: LOHENGRIN from Bayreuth 2 F.K. The old ways were good enough for our ancestors; they’re good enough for us.

1:00-4:00 DWOJKA POLSKIE: A concert?, recital? performance? or something from Warsaw. Polls are not to be trusted, unless they show we’re ahead.

1:00-4:00 NPR World of Opera: A LIFE FOR THE TSAR from Montpelier 2 F.K. (Good show.) I regret you have only one life to give for my country.

1:00-5:00 RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS: MIGNON from Geneva, 1 F.K. (Best show of the day, two weeks running.) You shall not crucify mankind upon an E in alt.

1:00-5:00 WCNY, WQXR: LUCREZIA BORGIA from San Francisco with Fleming, Fabiano. 3 maybe 4 F.K. I swear I thought he was of age. And besides, I was just asking for toilet paper.

1:00-5:00 FRANCE MUSIQUE: Falvetti’s NABUCCO. (Rate it ! I never even HEARD of it !) In the words of the immortal Franchot Scott Tone “What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last rimming.”

1:00-5:00 KBYU: FIDELIO with Brenda Harris. (No data to rate.) Sorry, lady, you’re gonna have to prove to me that you have on at least one article of women’s clothing.

1:00-6:00 NRK KLASSISK and NRK P2: GOTTERDAMMERUNG from Munich with Gould, Stemme. 2 F.K., just because it’s so damned loonngg. A louse divided against himself cannot stand, but he’ll outlast most of the good guys.

1:00-4:00 WRR: LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR with Gruberova and Kraus. 3 F.K. These mixed marriages never work.

1:30-4:00 RADIO OESTERREICH, also RADIO CLASICA DE ESPANA: GIOVANNA D’ARCO. (No data to rate.) Read your Bible, boy; nowhere does it say Noah’s wife was named Giovanna.

1:30-4:30 SVERIGES RADIO P2: LA GIOCONDA from Amsterdam with Westbroek, d’Intino. 3 F.K. Cut down on welfare cheats; get rid of the blind bitch.

2:00-5:00 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: THE TEMPLARS IN MORAVIA (Sebor) and ST. JOHN’S RAPIDS (Rozkosny). (No data to rate.) I believe in religious freedom. You pray to your god; I’ll pray to the right one.

2:00-5:00 LATVIA RADIO KLASIKA: IOLANTHE and FRANCESCA DA RIMINI from Vienna. 2 F.K. Looks like Evil Empire One and Evil Empire Two to me.

2:00-5:00 LYRIC FM: DIE ZAUBERFLOTE from Salzburg. 2 F.K. And what is that tatoo on your chest, Mr. Amadeus? Is that a Nordic rune… or a MASON’S SYMBOL?!?

2:00-5:00 RADIO SLOVENIA TRETJI: Marcos Portugal’s LO SPAZZOCAMINO PRINCIPE. 1 F.K. because it’s hard to be snarky and brittle about something you’ve never heard before. Although, we manage!

2:00-4:00 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: DIE DREI PINTOS. 2 F.K. Three Pintos is too many; you’ll have to make do with four. We’re gonna cut down on government spending, no matter WHAT it costs.

2:00-6:00 RADIO TRE: Zemlinsky’s DER KONIG KANDAULES from Palermo. (No data to rate, although Zemlinsky has his partisans.) We will cooperate, but we will NOT compromise. You are totally free to do it OUR way.: