Says Betsy Ann Bobolink: “Today’s Chat Check is especially for the losers among us, those who fail at all the quizzes and games set before us. So gather round, ye for whom ‘malgré’ is not even a recognizable word, let alone part of a language; gather round, ye for whom every one of those Elettras sounded like Klaus Florian Vogt in too-tight underwear. Here’s a quiz at which you cannot fail. (My thanks to Will Berger who inspired so many of the questions.)”

11:00-2:00 LRT KLASIKA: MITRIDATE. 2 F.K. Mozart composed this when he was 15. Would that explain the mysterious stains on some pages of the manuscript? Discuss.

12:50-3:50 RADIO CLASICA DE ESPANA, also DR P2, ESPACE 2, and RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS: LE NOZZE DI FIGARO. Susanna Phillips eaarns this an extra F.K, for a total of 3. Is the title character in this opera a) Nozze, b) Figaro, or c) a bag of potato chips?

1:00-4:30 WFMT American Opera Network: ROMEO ET JULIETTE from Los Angeles. 3 F.K. Name the English playwright on whose play this opera is based. Extra credit if you can name the leading characters.

1:00-2:15 BBC 3 : BRITISH KINGS AND QUEENS. No data to rate. Name two other countries that have kings. Name two countries that do NOT have queens.

1:00-5:00 CBC TWO: ARIADNE AUF NAXOS. 2 F.K. Name at least one soprano whose last name begins with Piecz ___.

1:00-4:30 DEUTSCHLANDRADIO KULTUR: COSI FAN TUTTE from Bamberg. No data to rate, but it might be worth a listen for Thomas Allen and/or Christopher Maltman. The plot of this opera features two guys in disguise. Can you name an opera with two gals in disgals?

1:00-4:00 DWOJKA POLSKIE: FALSTAFF from ROH. 2 F.K. Name the popular English playwright on whose play this opera is based. Has he been mentioned on this list before?

1:00-5:00 KBYU: COSI FAN TUTTE from Los Angeles. 3 F.K. Worth a listen for Alexandra Kurzak. Two bad we couldn’t combine the two. If there is no character in this opera named “Fan,” then how come she gets her name in the title?

1:00-4:00 NPR World of Opera: CARMEN from Venice. 3 F.K. How old were you before you discovered this composer’s name was not “Biz-ette”?

1:00-6:00 LYRIC FM: SCHWANDA DER DUDELSACKPFEIFFER. 2F.K. Can you name a stupider opera title? Other than “Der Trompeter von Sackingen,” I mean

1:00-4:00 RTP ANTENA 2: LA CLEMENZA DI TITO – from Aix-en-Provence. 2 F.K. Name three Aix-es that are NOT in Provence. (Ham-and-Aix doesn’t count.)

1:00-4:00 WCLV: SIMON BOCCANEGRA from Los Angeles. 3 F.K. This opera is by Giuseppe Verdi. Did he write any other operas?

1:00-5:30 WRR: DIE MEISTERSINGER VON NURNBERG. 3 F.K. What is the very soonest you can fall asleep in this opera without having to have another potty break?

1:30-5:00 RADIO OESTERREICH: LA FORZA DEL DESTINO from Paris, 2011. 4 F.K. (Urmana? Alvarez? Gimme a break.) Which is the more popular name for an operatic heroine — Leonora or Heather?

1:30-5:15 SVERIGES RADIO P2: DIE FRAU OHNE SCHATTEN from Salzburg, 2011 2 F.K. Is “opaque symbolism” a legitimate justification for going on and on and on?

1:30-4:00 BARTOK RADIO: Ferenc Erkel’s HUNYADI LASZLO 2 F.K. Okay, how many of you think this is about that creepy kid on “Family Matters?”

2:00-5:00 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: Myslivecek’s MONTEZUMA. No data to rate. Would Myslivecek be more appreciated today if people could pronouce his name?

2:00-5:00 FRANCE MUSIQUE: Massenet’s THERESE from Paris. No data to rate. Okay, hands up everybody who thinks Massenet is trying just a lee-tle bit too hard with the woman thing.

2:00-6:00 HR2 KULTUR, MDR FIGARO, NDR KULTUR, RBB KULTUR, WDR3: LA CASA DISABITATA by Amalie von Sachsen. 2 F.K. If it became known that your head-of-state had written an opera, would you a) want to hear it, b) hold a recall election, c) move to another country.?

2:00-5:00 KLARA: FIDELIO from Lucerne. 3 F.K. If Pizarro came back on in the middle of “Komm, Hoffnung,” would the jig be up?

2:00-5:00 RADIO SLOVENIA TRETJI: ROBERTO DEVEREUX. 3 F.K., maybe four. Who would you guess is wearing tighter underwear — Klaus Florian Vogt, Juan Diego Florez, or Edita Gruberova?

2:00-4:30 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: OBERON 2 F.K. Name a popular English playwright who wrote a play on which this opera is NOT based.