Today Our Own Betsy inaugurates the F-K* rating system (*for “F-fete K-nives.”)

• 1 F-K denotes a performance of extraordinary musical and dramatic value, so that only one knife would be needed to dissect the rare lapse in good taste.
• 2 F-K means that only professional pedants will be able to discern the failure to maintain the highest musical standards or full Stanislavskian impact.
• 3 F-K offers ample opportunity to even the greenest of snarkmeisters.
• 4 F-K means that the performance will not even be heard above the wild threshing of  a poolful of blood-crazed piranhas.

Today’s blade-bait, after the jump.

11:00-2:00 LRT KLASIKA: WERTHER from ROH — 3 F-K. Rolando Villazon will be flayed and served up on a bed of greens.

12:00-5:15  RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS: SIEGFRIED from Oosten.  2 F-K.  Hands up everyone who likes Harry Peeters.  (He’s singing Wotan.)  The Brunnhilde is Judit Nemeth who has received favorable mention recently in these pages.  Such upstart opinion must be subject to correction.

1:00-4:00 BBC 3: TOSCA from ROH with Gheorghiu, Kaufmann, and Terfel in the cast, this should be a 4 F-K slugfest.

1:00-5:00 CBC TWO: ORFEO ED EURIDICE with Lawrence Zazzo and Isabel Bayrakhdarian.  I may be prejudiced (so what else is new?), but I call this a 1 F-K

1:00-5:00 SIRIUS: IL BARBIERE DI SIVIGLIA from The Met with Peter Mattei and Isabel Leonard.  We seem to be up to our necks in Peter this week.  The primary target, however, is Leonard who has dared to take over a JDD role.  3 F-K to punish such chutzpah.

1:00-4:00 DEUTSCHLANDRADIO KULTUR: A Choral program from Dortmund.  0 F-K.  Choirs are invisible to a true F-K-er.

1:00-5:00 DR P2: FAUST from ROH 4 F-K.  We put this through the grinder last week.  I’m astonished to see they have the gall to re-air it.

1:00-5:00 ESPACE MUSIQUE: DEATH IN VENICE from the Canadian Opera.  1 F-K.  For some reason (perhaps because he is “family”), Britten is impervious to F-K-ing, especially this opera which seems to be The Holy Grail of queendom, even for those who have never heard it and wouldn’t ever be caught dead listening to it.

1:00-5:00 FRANCE MUSIQUE: Attalio Ariosti’s LA FEDE NEI TRADIMENTI.  Not enough information to assign a rating.

1:00-5:00 HR2 KULTUR: ALCINA from Vienna.  Because of its relative rarity the bulk of Baroque opera remains the playground of the purist.  2 F-K.

1:00-4:00 NRK: TURN OF THE SCREW.  1 F-K.  (see DEATH IN VENICE, above.)

1:00-5:00 RTP ANTENA 2: TANNHAUSER from Bayreuth.  4 F-K.  Even a total tyro can hear how bad this is.

1:00-5:00 RADIO CLASICA DE ESPANA: LE NOZZE DI FIGARO.  4 F-K.  The only way they could have gotten a worse rating would have been to put Danielle De Niese in the cast.

1L00-4L00 WCLV, VPR: DAS RHEINGOLD from San Francisco — 2 F-K.  The strong San Francisco lobby precludes much full-fledged nastiness.  Stilll, there will be those who will insist they are able to hear Francesca’s misdirection over the air.

1:00-5:00 WETA and others: LA BOHEME from the Washington National Opera.  3 F-K with the main targets being Grigolo and Cabell.  If Domingo had been conducting, it would have been a 4 F-K.

1:00-6:00 WFMT Network, including WOMR and KUAT 2:00-7:00 or thereabouts: DIE WALKURE from San Francisco.  2 F-K.  (See DAS RHEINGOLD above)

1:00-4:00 WQXR: LA BOHEME from The Met, February 15, 1958.  Would have been a 3 F-K because of Albanese, but no one wants to see Bergonzi caught in the line of fire, so it’s a 2 F-K.

1:30-4:00 RADIO OESTERREICH: WIENER BLUT from the Vienna Volksoper.  Not enough information to rate.

1:30-4:00 SVERIGES P2: Mercadante’s VIRGINIA.  The backlash against Meade boosts this to a 3 F-K.

2:00-4:30 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: Dvorak’s SELMA SEDLAK.  This one rates WTF-K?

2:00-5:00 KLARA: IL RITORNO D’ULISE IN PATRIA.  Monteverdi is seldom a F-K.-fest; even a pedant has to stay awake to pedantize.

2:00-5:00 RADIO SLOVENIA TRETJI: Rimsky-Korsakov’s THE TSAR’S BRIDE. 0 F-K.  (See Dvorak above.,)

2:00-5:00 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: Kinzl’s DER EVANGELIMANN 1 F-K.  Its total unfamiliarity — although most people “in the know” extol its virtues — plus the presence of the off-limits Helen Donath make this the most peaceful listen of the day.

I call your attention to the live broadcast of TALES OF HOFFMANN from Chicago, 7:15-11:30. WFMT,  4 F-K.   It’s just smack-dab full of people who shouldn’t be cast as they are.

Draw your switchblades and show up — if you dare! — at La Casa della Cieca. Remember also that ALL of today’s broadcasts are now or will be available for free download from House of Bobolink —[email protected]  — for all mournful aficionados.  (Excluded from this offer are commercial releases:  EVANGELIMANN and the Albanese BOHEME.)