“The truth is, most operas are dirtier than Amy Winehouse’s beehive, riper than a full-on effing rant by Gordon Ramsay and more violent than a Tarantino bloodfest.” La Cieca gives Brit tabloid The Sun top marks for self-mockery in their promotion for Don Giovanni at the Royal Opera.  The paper has reserved the entire September 8 performance of the Mozart shockfest (whee!) for their readership, offering the best seats for £7.50 (“hear a tenor for less than a tenner”). 

But even better, the rag translates librettese into the lurid tabloid lingo its readers can understand.  In a sidebar story headlined “SEX PEST STRIKES IN SUNNY SPAIN,” the synopsis includes the delightful detail “the scumbag ends up hiding in a graveyard with faithful servant Leporello when things start getting seriously weird.”

According to The Sun (and what more believable source might one ask for?), not everyone is overjoyed with their mission of bringing of culture to the masses:

Elitist broadsheet The Guardian wrote an article last week sneering at the fact that lowly Sun readers should dare to grace the Royal Opera House.

Blow them. They can have a night in with their mung bean sandwiches and discuss existentialist feminism. We’ll be down the opera having a knees-up.

La Cieca is absolutely avid to see if the Met can convince the Post to follow suit: