In all the publicity surrounding last week’s memorials to Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., a far more put-upon martyr has been virtually ignored by the mainstream media. Celebrated freedom fighter Franco Zeffirelli is making veiled suggestions (through a “friend”) that, should the Met mothball such “masterpieces” as his 20-year-old Tosca production, supporters of the octogenarian stage director may mount a protest in the Lincoln Center plaza.

From his windswept barricade inside a luxurious suite at the Waldorf-Astoria, Zeffirelli reacted to elaborate honors the Met paid him last week during a performance and at a Guild luncheon by kvetching that he felt uncomfortable at such a “funeral parade.” Ah, Sybil Harrington, thou shouldst be alive at this hour!

If only upstart Peter Gelb had a scintilla of the visionary imagination of his predecessor “Uncle Joe” Volpe, he’d realize that there’s only way to solve this problem. The Met must replace all their old Zeffirelli productions with new Zeffirelli productions! After all, it worked so well for the critically-acclaimed “Cow Lady” Traviata!

UPDATE: The invaluable Met Database provides La Cieca with a few statistics concerning the “mistreated” Franco Zeffirelli and his work at the Met.

Zeffirelli has directed 11 productions for the company (counting Cavalleria and Pagliacci as a single production and the Traviata stagings as two.) Performances of Zeffirelli’s stagings over a period of more than 40 years total over 1,600, an average of 40 performances per season.

For the purposes of comparison, here are performance statistics for other “legendary” productions at the Met:

Parsifal (Anton Fuchs, 1903) 84 performances
La fanciulla del West (David Belasco, 1910) 24 performances
Don Carlo (Margaret Webster, 1950) 81 performances
Cosi fan tutte (Alfred Lunt, 1951) 68 performances
Carmen (Tyrone Guthrie, 1952) 141 performances
Die Frau ohne Schatten (Nathaniel Merrilll, 1966) 42 performances.