La Cieca was franky overwhelmed by both the volume and the quality of the “Season Brochure” contest entries, so she’s decided to ask you, her cher public, to help decide the winner. In this and four succeeding posts, she will present five finalists. Later today, she will post a ballot so you, the cher public, may vote on your #1 favorite.

Julian writes:

The 1924 season for Parma Grand Opera promises an eclectic mix of squally and humungous works, as well as a gala glottal stop featuring the flatulent personality Liberace as special dog trainer.

The squat classic, Italo Montemezzi’s La Fuoco di Istanbul boasts a new production directed by Coco Chanel, with costumes by Winston Churchill. This wheezy staging updates the action to Rotterdam in the early part of the 7th century. Soprano Dame Clara Butt stars as Fanny, a virginal scheitel who for most of the opera is disguised as a mysterious waste disposal. Dame Clara Butt is perhaps best known from TV’s Six Feet Under where she sang the lilting melody “Come Into The Garden, Maud.”

The neglected masterpiece Der Sehnsuchterlebnisbusselhalter will be revived for only 17 performances. You probably already know the famous “Breast Pump Chorus” which was used on the soundtrack of the Academy Award winning film A Horn Blows At Midnight. Due to the length of this work, all performances will begin at the shank of the evening.

Finally, the company will present the Peoria premiere of the opera The Life and Times of Carol Channing in a co-production with Lyric Opera of Chicago and Carl Rosa. The libretto is by Isadora Duncan, based on the play Shopping And F**king, and the music is adapted from the works of Engelbert Humperdinck by maestro Arthur Nikisch. Exciting newcomer Condolleezza Rice makes her operatic debut as the smarmy heroine, and the men in her life are portrayed by Bea Arthur, David Beckham and Johnny Wadd.

Generous support for Parma Grand Opera’s Inter-Uterine Device was provided by the Bela Lugosi Foundation and the National Endowment for the Iron Lung.