Which diva—whose recordings, though popular, are sometimes obscure—anticipates becoming a bride as well as a mother? The lady’s beau, we’re told, is a tax attorney in our nation’s capital.

Which divo—who’s not known for a sizable instrument—has suddenly sported a massive bulge that has onlookers wondering “are you padding your part, or are you just glad to be back at the Met?”

Which diva is poised on the brink of omitting a whole aria after already transposing another? Or are we living in a dream to think she’ll show up at all?

Which girl proved so popular that she will return next year, all grown up into a lady?

Has this distinguished artist’s career reached its twilight? Anyone with an eye in his head can see it’s time to pass the torch and forge ahead with the immortal work.

Which director is driving his Met cast crazy with his perfectionism? As if the rush to opening night is not enough, he’s insisting that every time a scene is rehearsed the blocking must be identical “for the HD broadcast.”

Which critic—who has been eagerly spreading the news that NYCO’s A Quiet Place is a masterpiece—was observed snoring through most of the work’s first act?

Some people have a lot of clout around the opera house. For example, take that diva who protested a tenor scheduled to sing opposite her. Even though he’s just won glowing reviews, the company replaced him with a less daunting colleague. With the lucrative buyout money and unexpected gap in his schedule, our tenor was…

Which American opera company is about to break apart and make a brand new start in the form of a last-minute substitution in a prima donna title role?

Which American intendant (who’s straight, by the way) is about to change his anthem from one Judy Garland encore to another? And, speaking of “Over the Rainbow,” which final high-tech special effect of which very expensive new production reportedly failed to work at the (closed) dress rehearsal?

Which opera company hopes to rise to the occasion of a major tour minus that diva who seems to have lost her way yet again?

Who knows better than Peter Gelb that “into each life some rain must fall” — especially now, when the Met honcho may have to replace a director who was the rock upon which was built the upcoming season?

So the drama continues.  After the first act, the conductor summons the Decider to his dressing room to complain that the prima donna has made an unmusical mess of the opera thus far.

Which Met title-roler will be declared “ill” by week’s end? (You should know your time is up when the company starts hearing auditioners sing your big aria!)

La Cieca has no word on this yet, but she is sure that reliable baritone is going to get a lot of stage time at the Met the last few weeks of the season — probably as much as he’s had since the 20th century!

Which Brit of medium height has been added to the short list for a prestigious post that (paradoxically) would represent a homecoming?

Which tenor may have bought it — so far as the management is concerned at that theater where they’re still waiting for him to arrive for his first (and last) rehearsal? Just in case, a familiar figure is already heading across the river.

Which lady’s silence about her pregnancy will definitely derange her 2010-2011 schedule?

You may think La Cieca is full of beans when she tells you that a maestro private-jetted in to New York today for a rehearsal and then jetted back again, with no plan to return to our metropolis until the day of the prima.