One of the delights of doing these weekly breakdowns is sending them in and then waiting patiently to see what sort of illustration La Cieca uses with it.  Knowing how she loves a challenge, the topic for today’s chat listing is “GENITAL MUTILATION.”

11:00-2:00 LRT KLASIKA: LUCIA DI LAMMERMOOR from Vienna.  What an appropriate way to start.  The text doesn’t say WHERE Lucia stabbed Arturo, but you can damn betcha some of them stabs was South of the Border.  Natalie Dessay, which earns an automatic 3 F.K.

12:00-3:15 SVERIGES P2 or DR P2 at 1:00-4:30: UN BALLO IN MASCHERA from Kungliga.  No data to rate.  If I were Renato, I’d certainly aim below the Bible Belt.

1:00-4:30 WFMT American Opera Network: DON CARLOS (note it’s the French version)  from Houston.  Put-up-or-shut-up time for Francophiles.  Even with no data to rate, this is the hot pick of the day.

1:00-4:00 CBC TWO: FALSTAFF from ROH.  2 F.K.  Excess avoirdupois is its own form of mutilation, n’est pas?  Maestri and Martinez make it more than listenable.

1:00-4:30 DEUTSCHLANDRADIO KULTUR: DAS RHEINGOLD from Berlin.  No data to rate, but Janowski is bound to do something right sometime.  Fricka doesn’t really become a ball-buster until WALKURE, but she’s taking aim in this one.

1:00-4:00 ESPACE MUSIQUE: LES PECHEURS DE PERLES from Denmark with Larry Brownlee.  2 F.K.  Keep fishin’ for them pearls, boys, but don’t squawk if you come up oysters.

1:00-4:15 DWOJKA POLSKIE: A VILLAGE ROMEO AND JULIET.  1 F.K. like who knows it well enough to snark around?  Mutilation by drowning but you have to wait until the end.

1:00-4:30 FRANE MUSIQUE: I PURITANI from Paris.  No data to rate, but Olga Peretyatko promises much.  The only mutilation is when Charles gets his head cut off.  “Doesn’t count,” you say?  All right, let’s see how long you can go without head.

1:00-4:00 NPR World of Opera: THE ENCHANTRESS.  2 F.K. due to unfamiliarity, but it really should be better known.  Fricka (see above) could take a lesson from this girl.

1:00-5:00 KBYU: ATTILA from San Francisco.  3 F.K.  Keep it clean, Odabella!

1:00-4:00 NRK KLASSIK, NRK P2: LE NOZZE DI FIGARO – Glyndebourne at The Proms.  3 F.K., depending on your Sally Matthews tolerance level.  All the mutilation is vocal.

1:00-5:00 RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS: DAS RHEINGOLD from Amsterdam.  No data to rate, but in a heads-on competition with Berlin (above), this one’s chances are slim.

1:00-4:00 BBC 3: THE PILGRIM’S PROGRESS.  No data to rate.  I bet some smart-ass director could work an orgy into this and have a real winner.

1:00-5:00 RTP ANTENA 2: TANNHAUSER from Bayreuth.  4 F.K.  Nobody gets mutilated unless you count the staff at the end which starts sprouting leaves.  A similar thing happened to me once, but there’s a salve you can use.

1:00-5:00 WQED: LE NOZZE DI FIGARO from San Francisco, but is it the Prey/Popp or the Pisaroni/DeNiese?  2 F.K. for the former, 4 F.K. for the latter.

1:00-3:00 WRR: HANSEL AND GRETEL.  2 F.K. for von Otter and Bonney.  Being baked in an oven for “Way To Go Of The Week.”

1:30-5:30 BARTOK RADIO: SIEGFRIED from Budapest.  No data to rate, but the first two installments have not been promising.  Remember, dragons have genitals too.

2:00-5:30 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: Dvorak’s ARMIDA from Prague.  No data to rate, but oh wow, Ball-Buster Deluxe.

2:00-6:00 ESPACE 2: GIOVANNA D’ARCO.  2 F.K.  It’s official!  Maria Agresta is now the most-played soprano in history — with just one opera.  History is the one getting mutilated here.

2:00-6:00 KLARA: STRADELLA.  1 F.K.  If you haven’t heard it, this is worth catching up on.

2:00-6:00 LYRIC FM: TRISTAN UND ISOLDE from Dublin.  No data to rate.  I think these two should have gotten married.  Once the potion wore off, it would have been Blood-lust City.

2:00-5:00 RADIO SLOVENA TRETJI: ALCESTE.  3 F.K. Good, but not great.  No mutilation to speak of, but Admete does let his wife die to save him, which seems a bit churlish.

2:00-4:30 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: L’ELISIR D’AMORE.  3 F.K.  Bergonzi and Peters.  Uh huh.  Tell me about Adina and Nemorino, King of the Wussies.

2:00-6:00 RADIO TRE: DAVID ET JONATHAS.  2 F.K. for a really absorbing performance of a little-known work, but let’s deal with a father killing a son who leans a little to the left.  Odd that it wasn’t reported on Fox News.

2:30-6:30 RADIO OESTERREICH: MATILDA DI SHABRAN.  2 F.K. for unfamiliarity, but again it deserves a wider hearing with Peretyatko and Florez.

Remember, just two more weeks of Free-Form Chat before The Met Season starts again. Chat Room has been completely refurbished and that moldy spot in the corner has been treated.  Wit, Wisdom and Weltschmerz for everyone.