“Oh dear, dear, busy, busy busy,” said Bessie Bunny as she slipped into her pinafore. “Everyone will be at the HDTV today, and I shall have to chat all by myself. And look how early things start!  

6:00-11:00 RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS:  LA GIOCONDA (3 F.K.) with Eva Marie Westbroek

“And as if that weren’t enough, LOC is presenting a 16-HOUR broadcast (!) with singers from their Training Program who aren’t yet old enough to be too old to sing properly.”

9:00 A.M.- 1:00 A.M. WFMT: Lyric Opera of Chicago’s Fund-Raiser (7 F.K.)

“I’ll chat with you,” said Mrmystermeistermuster the Marmot. but only if we can listen to

11:00-5:00 BR KLASISK: DIE MEISTERSINGER (2 F.K.) from Nurnberg, (appropriately.)

“Count me in,” said Camille Cony. “Muti is conducting this.

11:00-2:00 LRT KLASIKA: MACBETTO (3 F.K.) from Salzburg

“This will be loads of fun,” said Peter Ptarmigan. “I was going to take a shower, but Mike’s using it.

11:30-1:00 ESPACE 2: LES PECHEURS DU PERLES (3 F.K.)

“And don’t forget us Northern neighbors,” said Kashania the Kanadian Koot.

12:00-4:00 ESPACE MUSIQUE: LILLIAN AILING by John Estachio (2 F.K.)

“Chat Room must NOT be empty,” piped up Liana Limpet, reminding everyone that Poland is almost Sweden. Sort of.”

12:00-6:00 SVERIGES RADIO P2: Stenhammer’s TIRFING (not enough data to rate.)

Just then a messenger arrived with a note from Manou the Malemute. “I can’t be with you today because I am cooking dinner for a party of 57 in Northern Madegascar. but if it’s on the BBC it will be good.”

1:00-4:30 BBC 3: Weinberg’s THE PASSENGER (2 F.K.)

“No, no, no, this just won’t do,” said Louannd the lesbian Loris. “Only Manou knows French well enough to tell us if this is being sung properly.”

1:00-5:00 CBC TWO: ATYS (2 F.K.)

“Nonsense,” said Armerjacquino Aardvark. “We can all tell that Dessay is singing French impeccably in this. Violetta is, after all, a French courtesan.”

1:00-4:00 RADIO OESTERREICH, also RADIO CLASICA DE ESPANA: LA TRAVIATA (4 F.K.)

“And listen to the wonderful French in this Stravinsky thing,” said CruzSF the Cockatoo, climbing down from his place on the calendar on the wall.

1:00-5:00 FRANCE MUSIQUE: THE RAKE’S PROGRESS from Nancy (3 F.K.)

“People! People!,” said Sanford Salamander. “Opera isn’t about words; it’s about music, as you can tell in this wonderful opera by The Sublime Mozart who also wrote ‘Le Nozze di Figaro,’ in which I am currently singing Dr. Bartolo at The Amore Opera where you can get a ten-dollar discount on your ticket by simply walking up to the box office and saying,’I don’t want to pay that much.'”

1:00-5:15 RADIO 4 NETHERLANDS, also BARTOK RADIO: MITRIDATE (2 F.K.)

Just then a terrifying rumble was heard in the ground beneath their feet. “It’s the Vog-Tites,” they screamed. “To arms, Jonasites!” A bloody melee ensued in which there were many fatalities, but fortunatekly nobody we’ve met so far.

1:00-5:00 RTP ANTENA 2: LOHENGRIN from Bayreuth (3 F.K.)

Whew, that was close, said BattyMasetto Bulldog. “We’d better stick to something nobody knows well enough to feel deeply enough about.”

1:00-4:30 NPR World of Opera: A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE by William Bolcom from Washington (2 F.K.)

“This one has Stemme in it,” said little Fartnose Frog. “Do you realize that when it is over, I will be exactly twice as old as I am now.”

1:00-6:00 WFMT Network: GOTTERDAMMERUNG from San Francisco (3 F.K.)

“She’s no Behrens. Nobody is.,” said MarshieMarkII Millipede.

1:00-4:00 WQXR: DAS RHEINGOLD from San Francisco (2 F.K.)

Suddenly, up popped M. Croche Cricket. “In the lamentable absence of anything Chinese, why don’t we broaden our horizons with a pre-Feminist tract by that Master of Mittel-Europa melody, the Dvine Dvorak.”

1:30-4:00 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: WANDA by Dvorak (2 F.K.)

“Or this?”

1:30-4:30 NRK KLASSIK: THE JACOBIN by Dvorak ( At this point, everyone ran out of F.K.s, having stuck them all in Croche Cricket’s crotch.)

“I love me some good Coq, ” offered Brooklynpunk Banana Bat.

2:00-6:00 ESPACE 2: LE COQ D’OR from The Bolshoi (2 F.K.)

“Looks like this Alagna thing is the closest we have to regular repertoire,” said Operaassport Ocelot. “And even it’s pretty pitiful.”

2:00-5:00 HR2 KULTUR: FRANCESCA DA RIMINI (3 F.K.)

Grimoaldo Grouse complained, “We can’t get much more esoteric than this.”

2:00-6:00 KLARA: SEMIRAMIS RICONISCIUTO by Porpora (2 F.K.)

OpinionatedNeophyte Oriole opined, “Don’t bother me; I’m making up for lost time.”

2:00-7:00 LYRIC FM: Smetana’s THE KISS from Wexford (3 F.K.)

Mandryka Manatee burbled, “We could twitter along with the Baroque.”

2:00-5:00 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: Handel’s XERXES (2 F.K.)

“I saw this! It’s good,” shouted ErcoleFarnese Elephant.

2:00-4:30 RADIO TRE: Martinu’s THE GREEK PASSION (2 F.K.)

“We’ve got to agree on something. Anything!” pleaded Maury D. Mastodon. Let’s take a vote.” But he was shouted down as each campaigned vociferously for a particular favorite.

3:00-5:00 DWOJKA POLSKIE: Janacek’s MAKROPULOS CASE from Stockholm (3 F.K.)

When they were exhausted Betsy_Ann tenderly gathered each excited little opera-goer under her and they all settled down for a quiet nap. Yes, Betsy_Ann’s a top.

Where the effete meet: La Casa della Cieca.