As if her elegant carriage, pristine soprano and knockabout comedy skills (as enjoyed in La Fille du Régiment) were not sufficient claims to fame, Dame Kiri te Kanawa has branched out into the composition of surrealist poetry.

The Kiwi songbird’s first effort at non-linear verse goes something like this: “I’m doing something classical, not whiz-bang. Whiz-bang disappears. It goes whiz then bang.” [The Sun]