Betsy Ann Bobolink presents a Betsy Ann Bobolink production of un film de Bétsy Ann Bobolinque. Based on an original story by Betsy Ann Bobolink and Anita Loos. The coming attractions for today’s chat are after the jump.

11:00-2:00 LRT KLASIKA: I LITUANI by Ponchielli 2 F.K. Claudette as a Lithuianian peasant refugee forced to subsist on radishes and peppermint sticks. Gowns by Adrian

11:30-1:00 ESPACE TWO: Stolzel’s EIN AUGENBLICK. No data to rate. Claire suffers all for her moment.

12:00-1:30 BR KLASSIK: A Vesselina Kasarova recital. 3 F.K. Bette as a Bulgarian peasant refugee forced to subsist on Vaseline Casserole. Gowns by Adrian.

1:00-4:30 WFMT AMERICAN OPERA Network: REJECTION ! (Based on EUGENE ONEGIN by Shykofski) 3 F.K. Joan suffers as you’ve never seen her suffer since last Tuesday

1:00-4:00 BBC 3: Detlev Glanert’s CALIGULA. No data to rate. Claudette trapped in the debauchery of Ancient Rome. Gowns by Felice Romani.

1:00-4:00 FRANCE MUSIQUE: Rita is CARMEN! No data to rate. She sings! She dances! She stands up! She sits down!

1:00-5:00 KBYU and other sites: DARK QUEEN OF EGYPT (based on Ada by Verdy.) Barbara storms up the Nile as a Royal refugee forced to subsist on figs and principles to a soundtrack with Sandra Radvanovsky. 3 F.K.

1:00-4:00 NPR World of Opera: FIDELIO 2 F.K. Joan fights for love in a man’s world — and a man’s underwear. Gowns by Oshkosh.

1:00-5:00 NETHERLANDS 4 RADIO: THE DAMNED ONLY CRY A LITTLE BIT. No data to rate. Bette is hell-bent for Hell, and Hell will never be the same.

1:00-5:00 RADIO CLASICA DE ESPANA: Barbieri’s EL RELAMPAGO. No data to rate. Tallulah stars as a tempestuos Russuan gypsy in Spain, forced to subsist on Jack Daniels and unfiltered Pall Malls.

1:00-5:00 RTP ANTENA 2: I MASNADIERI. 2 F.K. Barbara is Masna, a wise-cracking Russuan gypsy who meets her match in Warner Oland as Dieri.

1:00-4:00 WRR: LA BOHEME 2 F.K. Ann Blyth, June Allyson, Margaret O’Brien and Van Johnson as a quartet of gay French refugees suffering in decadent Paris during the reign of Marie Therese. Gowns by Hart, Schaffner and Marx.

1:00-6:00 LYRIC FM: Mary Astor is APOLLO with Frederic March as HYACINTHUS, suffering together in Ancient Greece. No data to rate. Chitons of cotton by Kotex.

1:20-4:00 DR P2 KLASSISK: DON PASQUALE. 3 F.K. Spring Byington bites off more than she bargained for when she tries to bite a bit of Bette, who suffers tempestuously. “Butcha ARE, Pasky!”

1:30-4:00 BARTOK RADIO: I CAPULETI E I MONTECCHI. 3 F.K. Joan suffers in a unique double role as two love-starved teen-agers trying to survive in a grown-up world — and grown-up underwear.

1:30-4:00 RADIO OESTERREICH: SCHWANDA DER DUDELSACKPFEIFFER. 2 F.K. Barbara is trapped in an elevator with Schwanda who tries to squeeze her Dudelsack.

1:30-4:30 SVERIGES RADIO P2: MITRIDATE. 2 F.K. Shirley enters puberty to star as Mitri, who can’t get a date for the Prom.

2:00-5:00 CESKY ROZHLAS VLTAVA: Karel Lovorovic’ NA STAREM BELIDLE ZPEVOHRA. WTF? No data to rate, but I’m sure it involves suffering.

2:00-6:00 ESPACE 2: ELIJAH. No data to rate. Claudette stars as an Israelite refugee forced to subsist on locusts and unfiltered Camels. Sackcloth by Gunny.

2:00-6:00 KLARA: LE COMTE ORY. 3 F.K. Bette is a no-comte Comte rejected by the society which forces her to wear men’s underwear and survive as best she can while she suffers.

2:00-5:00 LATVIA RADIO KLASIKA: DIE WALKURE. No data to rate. Olivia in her Oscar-nominated role as the iron-clad virgin of the skies.

2:00-4:30 RADIO SLOVENIA: FALSTAFF. 2 F.K. Joan suffers in a unique double role as a double-sized single person of — lo, and behold – approximately her own age, forced by her lustful nature to pursue anything on two legs.

2:00-4:30 RADIO STEPHANSDOM: LUSTIGE WEIBE VON WINDSOR. 1 F.K. Barbara assumes the title role in the film biography of Louis B. Mayer.

2:00-6:00 RADIO TRE: LA BOHEME from Naples. No data to rate. Cast of thousands! All singing! All dancing! All gowns. Give me Edith Head. Give me any kind of head. Extravaganza. Closeted gays coming out of every orifice. No expense spared. Lavish. Suffer! (pant pant) Score by Bernard Herrman. Based on a true tory. This is god-damned ART, Baby, and donchoo forget it.