“it is a curious story… i have it written in faded ink”
Following in the footsteps of Harrison Birtwistle‘s Minotaur and Thomas Adès’ The Tempest (which featured the half-human character Caliban), the Royal Opera House has commissioned yet another opera based upon a legendary monster. The as-yet-untitled oeuvre is the life story of Anna Nicole Smith, with music by Mark-Anthony Turnage (The Silver Tassie) and libretto by Richard Thomas (Jerry Springer: the Opera).
According to Elaine Padmore, Covent Garden’s director of opera, the Anna Nicole tuner “… is not going to be tawdry; it is going to be witty, clever, thoughtful and sad. In broad outline, it will tell the story of her life, the people who influenced her, her progress . . . . a parable about celebrity and what it does to people. It can be moving, it can be funny and it tells universal truths about human frailty.
“It is a very sad story – a larger-than-life American story, as was Puccini’s Girl of the Golden West. It will be a slice of our times – of America in the pre-Obama days.”
La Cieca’s invites her cher public to suggest possible casting, aria titles and so forth for the work. [via The Telegraph]
Well considering the size of her nursing bazooms, I’d shove a blond wig on Netrebka, and then make sure she got pregnant a year before the premiere.
Hey, the story of a woman mainly known for her great beauty and lack of talent – it’s PERFECT for Netrebka!
Karita as Anna Nicole!!!!
There is of course the obvious choice of D Voight… but I would hate to see her waste her time on something like this so… I’m nominating Andrea Gruber! Her assistant Kimmie can be played by H Grant Murphy or Susan Graham.
Will one Soprano suffice, though? Shouldn’t there be a young voluptuous Nicole and a more mature and somewhat shrill trim-spa’ed Nicole?
How about that ancient husband of hers? A short role, for sure. Do we have old tenors availble? I was thinking Peter Pears ca. Turandot.
Ian Bostridge as Bobby Trendy! Talk about “luxurious” casting.
Am I the only one who sees the 1. Perversity of it all, and, 2. the wrong medium?
1. Well Anna’s life was not very interesting. And the people around her? Well, there is already at least a scene based on them: The Auction scene in Rake’s progress. Didn’t Stravinsky use them as models for the scene?
2. Anna, Lord love her, had no class; or very little. I doubt that she would have ever gone to the opera. I think a musical or a rock opera would be more appropriate. That way we could get Sarah Brightman to play her. Let’s get Lloyd Webber do do it!
Is it April 1st already?
The only person filthy and trashy enough to play this part is Anna Netrebko with Erwin Schrott as the slimy “boyfriend” and Nathan Gunn as Larry Birkhead (sp?). And I can see David Pittsinger as that bizarre judge. Susan Graham as Birhead’s bitchy lawyer?
Debby Voigt could easily play Nancy Grace. She’s a dead ringer.
I love the statement that this is gonna be a “not tawdry” telling of this “witty and sad “story..lol,,!!.(what’s wrong with tawdry…?) maybe they’ll get Umberto Eco to do the libretto…?
Maria Gulhegina, as Anna Nichol?
With the size of the “Bartolettes”, Cecilia would hardly need any further cosmetic enhancements to play Anna.
This is the perfect vehicle for Katherine Jenkins and Placido
Domingo. Surely there has to be a fellatio or DP scene somewhere in there. WTF, I’d throw in Anna Netrebko (if she’s still around) or whoever is harlot-of-the-day plus a few real porn stars for good measure. I’d also enlist Renee Fleming to sing cover versions, at her most vulgar, of the cheap and bad music that Smith surely understood. Rolando Villazon (if he’s still around) as Anna’s (Nicole Smith, that is) highly paid, though not world class, gigolo. Susan Graham, in pants suit, would make a good lawyer.