Scrappy little La Gran Scena seems forever on the verge of financial disaster, and yet, somehow, the divas pull it all together for "just one more" New York season. At Town Hall on the rainy evening of May 13, something close to a thousand opera queens and opera queen wannabees cheered and bravaed Mme. Vera Galupe-Borszkh and her troupe through three hours of operatic sendup, with only an occasional dull spot of leaden comic dialogue providing a chance to come up for air.

The generous program climaxed with the company's familiar "Poker Scene" from La fanciulla del West, with Mme. Vera (ineffable Ira Siff) in full Rhinestone Cowgirl regalia. Her performance owed more than a little to the legendary Magda Olivero's famed repertoire of extra-musical vocal effects; Vera cackled, snarled, grunted, snorted, bellowed and shrieked in true verismo fashion. Particularly moving was her voluptuous vibrato when she intoned the name of her beloved highwayman "Dick."

The legendary diva's earlier number in this gala was newer but not quite so successful. As the sleepwalking Lady Macbeth, Vera mastered the intricacies of vocal color demanded by Verdi, up to and including the ghostly offstage fil di voce effect. But the prop-heavy humor did not always pay off. I did love, however, the fact that Vera's bedtime coiffure (hair rollers and net) echoed the silly wig Sir Peter Hall gave Renata Scotto to wear in the Met's ill-fated production of Macbeth two decades ago.

It was good to welcome back Johnny Maldonado to the company as beloved retired contralto Miss Helen Back, who joined equally superannuated soprano Gabriella Tonnoziti-Casseruola (Keith Jurosko) for an "original instrument" rendition of a duet from Hansel and Gretel. Maldonado doubled as tempestuous mezzo-soprano Carmelita della Vacca-Browne in an Aida Judgement Scene Fiorenza Cossotto herself might find over-the-top. Matching Carmelita lurch for lurch and high note for high note was the self-adoring tenor Alfredo Costa-Plenti, sung with burnished bronze tones and wicked bedroom eyes by Conrad Ekkens.

The "difficult" youngish soprano Kavatina Turner (Kyle Church Cheseborough) returned for her classic capsule version of Handel's Semele, joined by the strong-voiced and cuddly-looking countertenor Rodney Ballfree (Daniel Rawe), whose sendup of David Daniels et al. gets funnier on each new viewing. James Heatherly of When Pigs Fly fame was the new Sylvia Bills, hostessing with the open-hearted, empty-headed sweetness of Billie Burke on quaaludes.

La Gran Scena remains both the funniest and most touching of all opera companies; that laughter is a reflection of the sincerest sort of love for a sometimes infuriating but always fascinating art.

On the heels of a triumphant first staged Rinaldo in Munich, David Daniels returns to his native shores for concerts of arias at the Brevard Music Festival and New York's Mostly Mozart. We next hear Daniels in New York City Opera's production of the Handel opera beginning Halloween night, in the company of parterre box faves Lisa Saffer and Christine Goerke. The fall at NYCO otherwise looks a bit bumpy, as their planned Richard Jones/Brothers Kray Love of Three Oranges has been pulled and replaced with a staging from the Royal Danish Opera. There's a new translation, if anybody cares.

La Cieca sprayed a mouthful of decaf halfway across the breakfast nook when she read the following news item:

Reminds one a bit of Scarlett O'Hara's sawmill, doesn't it? But mainly, doesn't this idea of combining tough law enforcement and arts management sound like a brainchild of Rudy Giuliani and Joe Volpe working in tandem?

La Cieca wants to hear from you, darlings! Write to her at [email protected] and don�t forget to visit parterre box online at www.parterre.com!

The "Millennium Gala" at the Met was not up to much, frankly. Less than 90 minutes of music spread over 3 hours in the theater (or, mostly, in the lobby), and nothingnoteworthy or starry about the occasion. Placido Domingo was in good strong voice for Andrea Chenier, though his phobia about high notes led him to ask for two passages to be transposed down -- resulting in four peculiar and unexpected modulations. But we weren't there for music, after all. Daniela Dessi is coming along very nicely and can be counted a serious rival to Veronica Villaroel as a verista; lovely meaningful rubati and pianissimi in the "Ora dolce e soave." Let's hear her some more please!

Sentimental favorite of the night was of course Jose Carreras, returning to the Met stage after 13 years, looking frail and vulnerable, and sounding, well, pretty threadbare even in the brief and relatively undemanding music from Act Four of Carmen. But he delivered what he was asked to deliver, and it was heartwarming to hear a round of applause on his entrance as Don Jose. Lorraine Hunt Lieberson's voice sounded big and vibrant as Carmen, and she has the French sec approach down: no screaming guttersnipe she.

The circus atmosphere took over for the final installment of the evening: Luciano Pavarotti skittered through "Nessum dorma" but landed a real golden-age high B; after that he settled down for some soulful singing that would do credit to a youngster of 50. Yes, he did forget several entrances, but with the prompter's help he got back on track. We all gasped when the tenor took a bad spill trying to negotiate a raked platform; kudos to the Pav for continuing to sing while crawling across the stage to a handy "footstool" and hoisting himself onto his feet. He was joined by Patricia Racette as Liu, who started with lots of diva oomph, but settled into singing flat. Jane Eaglen looked frankly grotesque as Turandot, like Divine in Chu Chin Chow. That would not matter if she sounded like, say, Alessandra Marc or even Sharon Sweet, but, the point is, she doesn't. The voice is, yes, loud and steely, but lacking in any variety of color -- like a German B-house Elektra.

No appearance by Rudy Giuliani during the curtain calls, for once; even La Cieca would not have the heart to boo the poor man after the month he's had.

Through the miracle of web radio, parterre box is now on the air!

La Cieca hears that the May 10 talk by Joe Volpe to Met patrons was remarkably free of new news. In fact, Volpe seemed notably paranoid about the internet, observing at several points that everything he said would be on the Web in a matter of minutes. He also recounted the whole "Page 6" episode from last year. (You will recall that parterre box supplied the Post with all the juicy details of Volpe's badmouthing Bernard Holland.) Among the tidbits Volpe was willing to reveal:

The Ring will be back in 2003-04.

People may scoff at this week's three tenors event, but it's earning the Met $4 million.

The budget is going up -- from $176 million this year to $193 million next year. $10 million of that, however, is going to a 4-week tour of Japan.

The new Trovatore will not be traditional. (Volpe referred to the present Trovatore as "moving salt and pepper shakers," saying that he could say things like that now that the production was being abandoned.)

Texaco has signed on for another 7 years of broadcasts, with an option for an additional three years.

Attendance this season was at 93.2% -- the highest in 20 years.

2001-02 New productions -- Falstaff, Luisa Miller (directed by Moshinsky, designed by Santo Loquasto), Frau, War and Peace (co-production with Kirov), Sly, Norma ("we're making a lot of changes" to the Chicago production) Opening night -- three act Verdi gala (Ballo Act I, with Voigt, Shicoff, Agache; Otello Act III, with Domingo, Dessi, Putilin Rigoletto Act III, with Alagna, Gheorghiu, Revivals include: Arabella (Fleming), Don Carlo (Gergiev), Lulu, Meistersinger

2002-03 New productions -- Jenufa, Pirata, Sonnambula (Bartoli out, Dessay in) Troyens, View from the Bridge. Bartoli gets opening night Cenerentola. Revivals include: Carmelites, Chenier, Faust, Parsifal

2003-04 New productions --Benvenuto Cellini, Don Giovanni, La Juive, Salome. Opening night -- Traviata with Fleming, conducted by Gergiev

Telecasts next season: Tristan, Don Giovanni, one more TBA (assuming they get funding)

Oh, and in Uncle Joe's opinion, Jose Cura is a "talented young man who has some things to learn."

And here's even more gossip from La Cieca!