ne me retouchez pas! ne me retouchez pas!
Now, never let it be said that La Cieca was in any way opposed to glamour, and you know very well that is a fervent believer in dear Pablo Picasso‘s maxim that “art is a lie that makes us realize truth.” But, on the other hand, there’s this month’s cover of Opera News.
You would think that with all the post-production work they put into photoshopping The Diva of the Future‘s New New Face into baby-butt marmoreality, they could have set aside a couple of hamiltons for a pre-shoot shampoo and set. That stiff-gelled “There’s Something About Mary” look is just so 1998, don’t you think?
Still and all, the stylist deserves props. As the Fug Girls might say, “The dress is elegant but not boring: The color is gorgeous on her, the cut is romantic, and the extra flourishes are unusual without being scary.” What is scary, however, is the idea of just how close “Life at the Top” came to being “Life Over the Top.” This is already a lot of bazoom action for a family magazine:
And who knows what all else might not have poked us in the eye had the Photoshopper not layered in an additional flap of red satin:
La Cieca #97: She looks rather like Edna Turnblad from Hairspray in this pic.
But that role is traditionally played by a man…..
which means my penis theory (#22) must be correct!
Check the Tube video Renee Fleming–Casta Diva. In the first photo of our lady she aint got no clothes on at all. Nekid as the day she was born. Great picture though. The second photo is very scarey.
I am sure everyone here is familiar with the movie Victor/Victoria. Remember the moment where she sweeps off the rhinestone headdress, revealing herself to be (so everyone thinks) a man?
Well, what if Renee, in her upcoming Thais performances at the Met, oh say right after the high D at the end of “Dis mois que je suis belle”, throws off her filmy costume to reveal a basket of steaming C**K?
Peter Gelb could sell tickets to that every night for the next 20 years.
Am convinced R is a Real Girl. She’ll never be like that old guy from the Vatican a century ago who was supposedly the last castrato and whose singing on records was a squawky mess.
Renee’s new Rolex photo – on the inside front cover of the same edition of Opera News that features the CGI android above – is a much better (and perhaps unexpected) way to go.
Ok, so the dewy youthfulness is maybe a little optimistic, but she looks human and sympathetic, and the Photoshopper has retained a hint of smile lines around the eyes. Even Renee can surprise us occasionally!
jatman… if you must know…and dont be scared… i had also waited on Troy about a month earlier, and sent an email to many friends telling them… as a joke, i added that i was going to sell his leftover pancake on ebay… and several (!) people thought i was gonna try and asked how much i got for it… so, i did save his fork and took a pic of “us” together and sent it to these people, asking for a staring bid… The fork itself is STILL available (yes, as am I) (how telling, I know) and now lives in my Gumby and Pokey cup i use for a pen holder. Do i hear $25.00?
High C’s at 4:20: I think you should have really sold it on eBay.
Thackeray: CGI android. I love it.
I am sure most of the rest of you here are old enough to remember The Bionic Woman vividly. Remember her arch enemies, the Fembots? You pulled off the plastic face to reveal a circuit board with eyes and a speaker grille underneath.
Fembots? Maybe it’s time for a mention of the Stepford Sopranos …
Don’t forget Stupifyin Catwoman Wong Fu lovin Julie Newmar who was briefly robotic as My Living Doll. Aint we getting away from discussing the Girl from Rochester. Oh, maybe the talk will move to whether RF needs AAA batteries to get smiling.
Aging with grace: