Headshot of La Cieca

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the sun also rises to the occasion

“The truth is, most operas are dirtier than Amy Winehouse’s beehive, riper than a full-on effing rant by Gordon Ramsay and more violent than a Tarantino bloodfest.” La Cieca gives Brit tabloid The Sun top marks for self-mockery in their promotion for Don Giovanni at the Royal Opera.  The paper has reserved the entire September 8 performance of the Mozart shockfest (whee!) for their readership, offering the best seats for £7.50 (“hear a tenor for less than a tenner”). 

But even better, the rag translates librettese into the lurid tabloid lingo its readers can understand.  In a sidebar story headlined “SEX PEST STRIKES IN SUNNY SPAIN,” the synopsis includes the delightful detail “the scumbag ends up hiding in a graveyard with faithful servant Leporello when things start getting seriously weird.”

According to The Sun (and what more believable source might one ask for?), not everyone is overjoyed with their mission of bringing of culture to the masses:

Elitist broadsheet The Guardian wrote an article last week sneering at the fact that lowly Sun readers should dare to grace the Royal Opera House.

Blow them. They can have a night in with their mung bean sandwiches and discuss existentialist feminism. We’ll be down the opera having a knees-up.

La Cieca is absolutely avid to see if the Met can convince the Post to follow suit:

17 comments

  • Kundry's Therapist says:

    Thank God I’m going to Don Giovanni a week later – the thought of having to explain to a Sun reader why the statue doesn’t actually appear in this production is more than enough for any queen…

  • La Garden says:

    What would the Sun and the NY Post make of the video in here last winter dealing with the opera diva who had a talking little black dress she regularly conversed with?(Yes, I split an infinitive.)

  • dcrazmo says:

    Actually, Tannengrin, that reconcieved “Billy Budd” might actually get me to sit through it again.

  • DirkVA says:

    “And the Daily News will team up with Mortier to do a ‘Billy Budd/300′ with the action transported back to Sparta. To be premiered during fleet week, with $3.00 tx for any sailor in uniform.”

    I take it that you’re kidding. But I’ve heard a lot worse concepts.

    And the part about cheap seats for sailors is brilliant!

  • DirkVA says:

    No, 12. You not only didn’t split one, you didn’t even use one.

    WTF?

  • La Garden says:

    I guess what you would call the “with” at the end of my sentence a “dangling preposition.” Life is a website comment and then you die.

  • Harry says:

    Another headline : debauched punk rooter forever mucking around finally gets his end in….’