Headshot of La Cieca

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the sun also rises to the occasion

“The truth is, most operas are dirtier than Amy Winehouse’s beehive, riper than a full-on effing rant by Gordon Ramsay and more violent than a Tarantino bloodfest.” La Cieca gives Brit tabloid The Sun top marks for self-mockery in their promotion for Don Giovanni at the Royal Opera.  The paper has reserved the entire September 8 performance of the Mozart shockfest (whee!) for their readership, offering the best seats for £7.50 (”hear a tenor for less than a tenner”). 

But even better, the rag translates librettese into the lurid tabloid lingo its readers can understand.  In a sidebar story headlined “SEX PEST STRIKES IN SUNNY SPAIN,” the synopsis includes the delightful detail “the scumbag ends up hiding in a graveyard with faithful servant Leporello when things start getting seriously weird.”

According to The Sun (and what more believable source might one ask for?), not everyone is overjoyed with their mission of bringing of culture to the masses:

Elitist broadsheet The Guardian wrote an article last week sneering at the fact that lowly Sun readers should dare to grace the Royal Opera House.

Blow them. They can have a night in with their mung bean sandwiches and discuss existentialist feminism. We’ll be down the opera having a knees-up.

La Cieca is absolutely avid to see if the Met can convince the Post to follow suit:

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17 comments

  • 1
    Grimgerde says:

    I have it on good authority that The Sun also has – gasp! – a literary editor. And she likes going to opera at Covent Garden. All it really means is that people who want cheap seats at CG will rush out and buy the rag – it’s about selling newspapers, not seats at the Royal Opera.

  • 2
    Thackeray Gnomey says:

    What a silly exercise … Enlightening the plebs with the help of the Helen Hamlyn Foundation. They would have done better to use the money to offer discounts to under-30’s via a quality title rather than to Sun readers, who will have every reason to find Don G a bit of a bore. (Especially the first part of Act II … Yawn.) On the other hand, I have applied for the lottery. Thanks for the heads-up, La Cieca! It’d be especially good to see Joyce DD as Donna Elvira, who does have the best aria in the piece, after all.

  • 3
    -Ed. says:

    Bjork and her Icelandic cod mafia is stronger than I thought.

  • 4
    DirkVA says:

    Actually, I find this quite refreshing — especially the part about giving others a chance at the ROH while the toffs take an evening off to discuss “existential feminism.” And the writing has a vigor not present in our own NY Times these days (though I’m not suggesting that the latter attempt this style).

    I totally disagree that the buyers of these seats need be bored by DG. Both Mozart and that scamp Da P. were trying to be entertaining — and were.

  • 5
    Lindoro says:

    I fucking love it!

    Dibs on the shirtless guy bitches….

  • 6
    Famous Quickly says:

    I sang brilliantly as both Donna Anna and Donna Elvira, with Pinza, Schoeffler and Silveri leading my supporting casts. And needless to mention I could sing Zerlina *tomorrow*- it’s a question of color and tessitura.

  • 7
    Sir Morosus says:

    I have applied for the ticket lottery too. Will I have to shave my head ,don trekkie bottoms, pierce my body and tattoo my posterior with “I love Simon Keenlyside” to fit Rupert Murdoch’s profile of a Sun reader? Phwoar!

  • 8
    Thackeray Gnomey says:

    Dirk VA … There is no getting away from the fact that The Sun is a brilliant product: really sharply written and it knows exactly who its audience is.
    Its morals are another matter …

    By the way, Francesca Zambello’s dreary, vaguely feminist production isn’t going to get them too excited. I saw the first night about six years ago and thought is was turgid and uninspired.

  • 9
    Willym says:

    Bums in seats darlings, that’s what it’s all about. Oh and bums on page 5 too if we’re talking the Sun. And on stage if we’re talking Zambello.

  • 10
    tannengrin says:

    And the Daily News will team up with Mortier to do a ‘Billy Budd/300′ with the action transported back to Sparta. To be premiered during fleet week, with $3.00 tx for any sailor in uniform.

  • 11
    Kundry's Therapist says:

    Thank God I’m going to Don Giovanni a week later – the thought of having to explain to a Sun reader why the statue doesn’t actually appear in this production is more than enough for any queen…

  • 12
    La Garden says:

    What would the Sun and the NY Post make of the video in here last winter dealing with the opera diva who had a talking little black dress she regularly conversed with?(Yes, I split an infinitive.)

  • 13
    dcrazmo says:

    Actually, Tannengrin, that reconcieved “Billy Budd” might actually get me to sit through it again.

  • 14
    DirkVA says:

    “And the Daily News will team up with Mortier to do a ‘Billy Budd/300′ with the action transported back to Sparta. To be premiered during fleet week, with $3.00 tx for any sailor in uniform.”

    I take it that you’re kidding. But I’ve heard a lot worse concepts.

    And the part about cheap seats for sailors is brilliant!

  • 15
    DirkVA says:

    No, 12. You not only didn’t split one, you didn’t even use one.

    WTF?

  • 16
    La Garden says:

    I guess what you would call the “with” at the end of my sentence a “dangling preposition.” Life is a website comment and then you die.

  • 17
    Harry says:

    Another headline : debauched punk rooter forever mucking around finally gets his end in….’


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